You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
