wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
