You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
