sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's Friday. Sex?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
