You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
