The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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