I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
