i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
