You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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