I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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