just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize