i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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