you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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