it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
