Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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