Christians are straight up FREAKS
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize