He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize