PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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