I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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