Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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