It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
