okay pat passed out under dana's car
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
