In the future we'll all be gay
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize