I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is the high leading the old right now
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize