I don't think brook has ever known best
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
