Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
