i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This baby is an asshole
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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