ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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