All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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