I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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