Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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