I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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