i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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