Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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