I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
