White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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