So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
ttyl tear gas
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
