dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
