1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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