Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
