U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize