I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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