What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
