I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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