Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
