K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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