fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
