if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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