Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
