I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
