You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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