Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
