It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
