don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
