there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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