walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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