Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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