Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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