You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
