i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
