He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
