Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
