honey bunches of taint.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
