Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
