Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
