it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
