Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
