Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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